Titchwell RSPB!

Saturday 26th January

I counted 42 Marsh Harriers coming into roost at Titchwell RSPB this evening!

I don't know if any of you have realised, but when you log on to do the Big Garden Birdwatch, you are given a code to get 20% off + free delivery with purchases from the RSPB on-line shop and also in their reserve shops (some products are not included and they are listed when you log on). Today I got 20% off some bird food and a window feeder from Titchwell RSPB!

I have been pretty down in the dumps over the last few days and that is putting it mildly. Some of you have probably been wondering why I have hardly been out birding in my two weeks off. The reasons are because I had been revising for a job interview for a higher post within my current team – the interview was on Wednesday at 9am and sadly I wasn't successful. The same day the toaster packed up and I had a bereavement counselling appointment at 4pm. So, it was a particularly crap day and on Thursday I just spiralled to the bottom. January is a particularly difficult time for a lot of people that suffer with low mood and depression and when its your birthday too (tomorrow) and you're another year older, it makes it even worse! I'll be fine after my birthday – or will I? It would have been my mother's 79th birthday on 9th February – the first birthday I won't be giving her a card and her favourite Black Magic chocolates. Lucy's birthday is on the 10th February – difficult times.

Vivien and I have also been in turmoil over the sale of our parent's house. We have been told so many conflicting things from professionals and this makes everything even more stressful than it already is. I went to check the house this afternoon and collect my mother's toaster for me to use! The bird seed and fat block I had left on the bird table last week, had been stripped bare – I filled the table with more seed again and left as quickly as I could – quickly, because the longer I linger and sit in the living room and think about my parent's, the sadder I become and the tears start rolling. I don't think I will ever get over their deaths. Part of me never wants to sell the family home, but the sensible me knows that the sooner the house is sold the better, for my sisters and I. Each time I visit the house, it becomes more difficult. We can't even begin to start our lives again until our family home is sold.

We were originally going somewhere 'posh' for my birthday lunch, but I'm not in the mood for getting dressed up, so we have a very casual plan for tomorrow! The day is starting with my sisters and I doing the Big Garden Birdwatch from my garden at 9.45am! Then to Titchwell RSPB for birthday lunch (hopefully), then a walk round the reserve, by which time the heavy rain and 55mph winds will have kicked in big time. Back home to my house and then to a booked cream tea locally, to end the day! Doesn't sound too bad at all really!