Feeling very low and fed up. Did nothing all afternoon after I returned from work, when I could have looked for birds, but couldn't be bothered. Looking at the pager, no one has found a mega, so that's Autumn migration over with – no more exciting birds until next Spring. I suppose I can now at least get on with sorting my house out, in preparation to move next year. I have a million things to do and don't want to do any of them. Fed up with trying to get hold of my little sister, who rarely answers the phone or my texts, when we have so many things to sort out, impossible to get hold of and you are more likely to get hold of the Queen! Vivien rarely reeds my blog, but I'm sure she will see this particular post so: we need to set a date for a boot sale please?
I've just had another row with BT over my mother's phone account and I thought TalkTalk (who I am with) was bad – TalkTalk are awesome compared to BT and it confirms that I will NEVER have a phone package with BT! They are trying to charge us £224+ for cancelling the internet package within the 18 month contract, when I already have the name of the person and date when it was confirmed that we would not have to pay any fee for cancelling this after my mother died – completely and utterly unprofessional and insensitive – I discussed this with someone a couple of weeks ago, they apologised and refunded the money that they took out of my account (without my consent) and STILL they sent a demanding letter today – unbelievable! In fact, BT owe us – I got so much compensation out of them for all their failings we are in credit! The phone cuts off tomorrow anyway and will be getting refund cheques soon – bet that doesn't go smoothly. It will be my last dealings with BT ever!
Trick or Treat Families are knocking on doors right now – don't even think of knocking on my door, you may be the ones getting a 'trick'!!! Can't wait to get away from this estate – I'll only miss one couple, the rest don't even speak unless they forced to and some don't bother at all. No community spirit in my road, except when someone wants something – there will be no 'treats' from me!
My best friend is now in heaven and there is nobody to talk to about birds anymore on a daily basis and its no good anyone telling me that times heals, because that's bollocks! I miss my mother so much – I miss her voice, her eccentric ways, her spirit, her passion, her laughter, her determination, her stubbornness, her support, her everything. Since I have moved back to my house, it has only just started to sink in that she is really not here anymore. I can't believe Lucy and I will be having our Christmas dinner at my house alone. We always have Christmas dinner at Holme! The last two years have been utterly devastating – surely 2019 will be better?!
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Sheesh, Penny. I am so sorry you have to go through this crap! There will be light at the end of the tunnel, I know it.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Thank you for your support.
DeleteOh Penny! You don't know me but I have seen you around at Bird Fair and in Norfolk. I also read your blog. Sorry you are feeling so down. I know everyone says it gets better, time's a healer and all the other stuff you don"t want to hear when you are grieving BUT it really does eventually (you just weather the storm like those little migrants that get blown off course). I was very close to my dear Mum and felt like I couldn't breathe without her. I can now remember the good times and laugh about the funny things we shared. I hope there is a new birding buddy in the wings (pardon the pun!) waiting to share things with you. Fingers crossed. Chin up x
ReplyDeleteThank you Amelia. So sorry for your loss, its so difficult, but yes I guess things will get better. No, no birding buddy in the wings to share things with. Thanks you for your support.
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