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Saturday, 20 February 2016

Emergency Carer – 21 Hours!

 I left my house at 1.45am this morning to help my Mother out. Yes, it was a crazy time to go out, but Father had refused to take his Quetiapine tablet for the second night running – this tablet is the most important one to keep him from going crazy. He was going crazy, which is why I had to go over to help out.

When I arrived at my parent's house, all was quiet, but I decided to stay anyway, as my Mother had had very little sleep the night before. I got into my sleeping bag and attempted to make myself comfortable on the small sofa, which is a few yards from where Father sleeps. Mother went upstairs to bed. Father had no idea, that he had a sleep-in carer!

Father was chuntering away to himself for what seemed like ages. Then all was quiet....... until just after 5am when I heard 'help me, help me?....' and so on. Father wanted help to go the toilet, but sadly it was a bit too late – he looked surprised when I told him I was there. I washed him top to bottom, shaved him and washed his hair etc – creamed and clothed with hot bottle on lap and blanket. Put all the bed linen and clothes into the washing machine and switched it on go!

After a massive tidy up and having a wash 'n' brush up myself, it was then 7.30am. Father made me chuckle when he said 'you're like a blow fly' 'what do you mean' I said..... he replied 'buzzing around'! I went outside to let the stray cat out of the shed (its home for the night). Emptied the bins and hung the washing outside. I made breakfast for Father and helped him to eat it. Mother came downstairs and looked wrecked – she didn't look like she had any sleep at all. We sat and had our breakfast together. After more tidying up and toileting, we all cap-napped for 20 minutes or so.

King's Lynn Mobility Shop (I had arranged this a couple of weeks ago) turned up at 10am with three armchairs/recliner chairs for Father to try out as his current chair is old, uncomfortable and rubbish. Father got very irritable by the third sturn transfer to a try out a chair. Unfortunately the best recliner was too big for the space in the room, so Mother opted for a normal armchair for Father and a different model for herself in the dining room – both came with footstools. The gentleman who had come out was very professional and very patient! Father sits much better in his new chair and doesn't sink to the right side constantly as he did in the old chair, so it was worth all the hassle!

I flew outside to get all the washing in, as it hard started to rain, but got in trouble for hanging it up in the wrong places! I then went to the Farm Shop at Thornham and bought fish 'n' chips for us all. After lunch we all crashed out and dozed. I was cream-crackered! Went to Hunstanton to buy some groceries for Mother, came back, had tea, helped Father with more ablutions etc whilst trying to watch 'The Voice'. I was going home early evening, but Father started to get very irritable, cross and unreasonable (due to the fact he had not had his Quetiapine tablet). It took me a couple of hours to persuade him to have that tablet – I got there in the end! Got him into pyjamas and into bed at 9.15pm. Mother thanked me and said she wouldn't have got through the day without me.

Arrived back in King's Lynn at 10pm – took me ages to unload all my stuff out of the car and has taken ages for me to wind down. I know I have been at work all week, which is why the entire night and day has shattered me, but I really don't know how my Mother manages him every day, I really don't. I can't see it going on for much longer – I think she is on the very edge of having to put him in a residential home and although I don't want him in a home, I don't think there is much choice left – its not fair for my Mother at all.

I forgot to say last week – Mother fell off her bicycle in a muddy wet area near her house and couldn't get up. Some very kind neighbours helped her up to her feet – no broken bones or injuries thank goodness, which was very lucky indeed. This muddy area is a result of a skip being sat outside last summer for a very long time, which left the area grassless and quickly became a very wet muddy area for the first time in all the years my family have lived there. I do wish someone would fill in the low, muddy area with some hard core or something to help dry it out! Also I nearly got my car stuck there today and had a job to reverse out of the mud!

If I recover from my today, I hope very much to go birding tomorrow. Good Night!


  1. Penny...bloody well done!!
    I hope you get a chance to go birding know you need it as a counterpoint to what's happening in your life at the moment.
    The sooner you can find yourself a place to live where you can go birding from the bedroom window....the better!!
    Keep on acting like a "blowfly"...may the Force be with you!!

  2. Penny, we've never met and, therefore you don't know me but I never fail to be amazed at the situations you describe. All strength and good birding ( as the antidote to what must be an indescribable stressful situation). John.

  3. Thank you Tim and John for your kind words and support. Best Wishes Penny

  4. Penny - You are a saint and an angel for all you do for your parents.
    Love Richard

    1. Thank you Richard. I'd like to think that anyone else would do the same.