I had a rubbish night's sleep. I tossed and turned and felt worse when I woke up than I did yesterday. I knew I wasn't going to get any more sleep, so got up and slowly got ready. My mind and body was in slow motion. I have not felt like this for a long time...... today I felt like I was trapped in a bubble and everyone else was outside that bubble – its very difficult to explain this feeling, unless of course you are someone who suffers with depression, which I do – I just don't often talk about it publicly. I didn't feel like being amongst lots of people today. I was emotional on and off throughout the day.
I arrived at the hospital, just before midday, in time to help Father with his lunch. He had eaten well at breakfast I was told. He was alert but looked pale, drained and fatigued. The staring eyes and hallucinating continued as yesterday and attempting to remove the sheets etc. The Resperidone (for his dementia) was not given until 4pm, but this did start to take effect later on thank goodness and he settled. I have had some very kind support from all my colleagues and I thank you all so much for this. Thanks to Cara for putting a plate of food goodies together for me this afternoon!
Huge praise to all the staff who work on West Raynham ward, who work so hard and compassionately. In my opinion, there are never enough staff on any of the wards in the QEH or most hospitals come to that. If I could shake it all up, I would get rid of all the unnecessary people at the top on over a £100,000 pa. and have two nursing auxillaries per bay of six people which would give first class attention to patients and time to have conversations with them, to cheer them up and lift their spirits etc. I can't see this ever happening!
After helping Father with his tea, I left about 8.30pm and felt it was slightly easier to leave than last night. He
was almost asleep when I left him and he looked frail, but comfortable and
peaceful. Hoping I will sleep soundly tonight!