Father needed some TLC when I arrived on the ward this afternoon. He was sitting in a recliner chair in a theatre gown with his arms hugged across his chest – he looked cold and said he was cold and he didn't look very well. I was not happy. He had a blanket over his lap, but his socks and slippers sat on the chair. I put his cardigan and socks on – these two items made all the difference. I shaved him and washed his hair. He may well have declined all of the above (although unlikely), but a person who has suffered a stroke and has cognition problems/dementia does not always give accurate answers. Someone had made him a drink with the thickened fluids, but it was plain water – next to the drink stood a bottle of lemon barley and Ribena – obviously the person who made this up has never tasted thickened water..... its like wall paper paste!
I then took him to sit in the day room to have his supper. He ate everything, the soup, main course, rice pudding and half my banana I mashed up with an ice-cream and nearly all his coffee. He looked a better colour in his face now, warm clothes, warm food, hugs – simple things for a frail 90 year old. I wish I could give up my job to look after him, but alone financially, I can not do this.
I was told this afternoon that he is almost medically fit for discharge – yeah right!
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My heart goes out to you. I looked after my father for 5 weeks in QE some years ago. Luckily my work fitted around my visiting him 3 times a day to keep an eye on feeding, pill taking etc. As good as they are there they do not have the resources to give the one to one attention that is so desparately needed at times. He is so fortunate to have you popping in as much as he does. Best wishes to you both.
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