The Saddest Day Of My Life

I was woken by a phone call from the Care Home at 3.26am - Father was unresponsive and had been taken by ambulance to A&E. The A&E team also phoned me to say how poorly he was. It was so scary and I was very traumatised when I got there. It took a long time to get hold of my family - I picked Lucy up. Vivien drove from Ely to Holme to pick Mother up. The doctor said that it would be kinder to let things take their course naturally, which I agreed with and they made him comfortable with pain relief etc and left the oxygen on. The Urosepsis had returned.

I had to be treated in A&E for shock - felt faint, sick and later on I was violently sick and got told to go home - my temperature was 38.3. I went home at about 2.45pm and got straight into bed - it was dreadful to leave him but I had no choice. He was not aware of us anymore. I rested/slept for about 3 hours - wasn't sick anymore and returned to the hospital. Vivien was still by his bedside - she had taken Mother and Lucy home earlier as they couldn't cope any more. Father has now been moved to my own ward, West Raynham and I sit here now waiting for the end alone. Vivien has returned to look after Mother who has the nasty cold virus, as does Vivien. Both my sisters have been incredible today.

He is battling on - I wish he wouldn't, this is so cruel it's unbearable. I know he is 90 years old but I still adore him and just want him to die peacefully.