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Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Visit to Parents!

I went to visit Father this evening – he had just been taken up to bed when I arrived. He had had a bad night last night and managed to lean over the bed rail and throw clothes out of the chest of draws! Staff suggested that they would move the furniture around in the room to stop this happening again, so I did it for them a bit later on. He also hadn't had much to eat today – this is exactly what happened when he was at home with mother – heavy, unsettled night, meant tiredness and poor appetite the following day, so I wasn't over worried that this had been happening here. He had also been crying today, but this is also what happened at home when he had had a poor night's sleep.

When I first walked into the room, a couple of staff had just got him into bed and his became very emotional when he realised it was me – he was crying and unclear with his speech. He was requesting 'the next train out of here......' and 'where are my shoes?' etc etc. I think he thought I was going to take him home now. I knew I was going to be here longer than I had intended to be! It didn't take too long for me to calm him down – I sat him up in bed so we could talk. I opened the window, drew the curtain and turned the light on. I started off by giving him a drink and a banana. Then I gave one of my longest talks ever and went through everything with him again about why he was here, where he was, who else was here and why he couldn't go back home again and how much better it was here for him etc. He really listened well – I could tell. He then said 'I've missed you', which pulled at my heartstrings! That was probably because I haven't been to see him since Sunday, but I can't go every day, work, my stuff to sort, mother, life etc! I made sure I repeated that I would always be visiting him and would see him more than I did before, but couldn't come here every day. He started to look sleepy and relaxed, so I lowered the head of the bed down a bit, shut the window, drew the curtain, turned the light off, said good night and left quietly. The staff here are so nice, I love visiting this home – it has a nice feel about it.

Drove to Holme to visit Mother! She looked shattered, which is hardly surprising as she had cycled to the farm shop in Thornham today to get fish 'n' chips from 'Eric's'! I'm completely mystified that Mother's hip is now magically better and she said she can't feel a thing! I know rheumatism can come and go, but I thought it was far worse than that, seeing the agonising pain she has been going through! I bet she turns down the X-ray appointment when it arrives now, oh well up to her! I pointed out that she could go out birding with me now, to which she replied 'I can't walk that far'.

I showed Mother Andy Stoddart's new book with my picture of my Pallas's Warbler in and we sat and had a cup of coffee and catch-up. Mother is finding it so difficult to come to terms with Father being in a home and constantly feels guilty. I continue to remind her that had he not gone into a home when he did, that she probably would be on this earth at all right now and father would have been put in a care home anyway! She knows he had to go into care, but it doesn't make it any easier – its not easy for any of us. I suppose she is right about him finding it difficult to adapt – at 89 years old, having to adjust to a completely different way of life, in a massive building and when you are almost blind is going to very stressful indeed – just hope he does settle eventually.

Plonked the cat in its bed in the wicker chair in the kitchen, made mother her water bottle for bed and left to go home. So hot at work this week, shouldn't moan, but I will – TOO BL**DY hot!!!

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