No Sleep, At Work, Hospital – Pushed To All Limits!

I arrived at work after no sleep whatsoever. I pushed myself to get through the day and managed very well, remained professional and worked hard. Although I broke down completely at lunchtime when going to visit my Father, who had been shouting all morning and demanding that he go home. I was shocked to hear his voice, which was deep and rasping. He had been shouting so much, he had a sore throat. He refused to eat until he went home. Even I was unable to calm him and I had to leave him in that state to return to work for the rest of the afternoon. My colleagues were brilliant. Through lack of sleep I was like a bubbling cauldron. All Father needed was someone with him, but staff are obviously unable to be with him constantly. Mother had a stinking cold, sounded awful and hadn't moved out of the house all day, which is very rare indeed for her but she as me had had no sleep last night – so worried about her too.

I went straight to visit Father after work and he had been moved to a different ward. I walked on to the ward and I just sighed with despair when I saw the state he was in and he was very distressed because of this and I quickly complained staff. I complained calmly – I had to, if I had said what I wanted to say (or rather shout and scream), I would have been led out by security. After he had been cleaned up and dressed properly, he was immediately calm and happier and looked pleased to see someone he knew. He was emotional and sad and I felt the same. I sat and held his hand. Helped him get into a high position in bed and then helped him with supper, which he ate quite alot of really, so that was good. Spoke to a very nice doctor, but they didn't know what was wrong with him yet. Bloods and obs. all fine – repeat bloods again tomorrow. I was just leaving at 7pm, as I was beyond exhausation when a nurse told me he was moving wards again!!! Father sounded worried and wanted me to stay with him until he had moved wards. Half an hour went by and then a porter came and off we went to another ward. Such a shame that he had moved, as the ward he was in was nice and the other men around him were alert, supportive and chatty. His new ward and bay was full of men in a worst state than him. There would be no one talking to him in that bay. Wrote down loads of stuff for the staff that would help them and him re: his lack of sight, speech, food stuff etc etc. Re-positioned him onto his side with a staff nurse and then left just after 8pm.

Plan: fish 'n' chips for my tea. Had to drive very carefully when I left. I couldn't even string a sentence together I was so tired. The fish 'n' chip shop was closed as I went past. No energy to find another. Got home, phones ringing. I didn't answer them. Stuck bread in toaster, fried eggs, threw beans in frying pan after and stood to eat my survival tea. Determined to keep my blog up, I sat and typed and now off to bed. Big complaint letters to write tomorrow to two different services. Good night.