Crazy Day With......

My Mother!!!

Ok, so I didn't get out birding, but had a crazy, fun, productive and lovely day with my mother! Met my mother at King's Lynn bus station and took her to the hospital for an appointment, where she did her usual thing of embarrassing me in front of patients and staff with all kinds of eccentric nonsense! We then went to the town, so mother could buy some new clothes from the Edinburgh Woollen Mill Shop – she refused to go anywhere else, as she detests clothes shopping. Mother is way overdue to buy clothes, but won't leave the house and go on the bus, because of the spoilt and pampered cat – she doesn't like to leave it too long..... the elderly cat that sleeps all day, that has a choice of beds, food etc all around the house, the cat that rarely goes out at this time of the year, oh dear – poor cat!!! Anyway, after the usual scenes in the shop of 'I don't like that Penny, put that back etc' in a very loud voice for everyone in the shop and beyond to hear, we then made our way to Barclays before returning to the car, just before the parking ticket ran out.

We then went to my house, where I cooked mother some lunch and produced a microwaved bread & butter pudding too – just to prove a point that mother can have her usual little puddings she buys cooked in just over a minute, when she cooks them for 18 minutes in the conventional oven – she refuses to buy a microwave – why? 'Because of all the radiation they emit...' I can't remember the last time mother spent time at my house or have lunch together, I really can't, it was really nice and I got a compliment for the main course! Whilst sitting at the dining room table, mother thought she could see a cat on the bird table – it was in fact a Blackbird! She doesn't think she needs her cataracts done – I beg to differ!!!

After lunch we got some jobs done – mother wants a new oven, but nothing in the Clarke household is simple! She only has a 50cm width gap for her oven and it needs to be LPG ready and ideally wants one direct from Calor Gas. There is no mains gas in Holme and mother has been using propane gas cylinders since year dot. Mother has a serious phone phobia and will do anything to get out of phoning people, so she writes, doesn't get any replies and wonders why – I explain to her over and over again, that you have to phone or email to get anywhere with anything nowadays. So, after looking at the Calor Gas website and their choice of two ovens at the dimensions we required, I phoned up, paid for the oven and sorted it all out, including ringing a 'Gas Safe Registered Engineer' (who mother knows anyway) to fit it and dispose of old one etc – job done! Tick!

I have had a long standing issue with trying to find my mother wellingtons that fit – I could write a book about it all! She desperately wants some wellies, but every pair I have purchased, both on-line or not, have not fitted and I have had to return them all. She has small feet: size five and a half, but unfortunately has really bad bunions both sides (through wearing ill-fitting shoes as a child). I thought I had nailed it with my latest purchase for her, when I bought her the same (but shorter version) 'Muck' Men's Arctic Sport wellingtons that I bought for my holiday – they are the best wellingtons I have ever bought, so comfortable and warm – another league from your average wellington and highly recommended. We were just about to leave my house, when the new wellingtons arrived by courier! Mother huffed and puffed and got cross, as she wanted to get back to the 'poor cat', but she agreed to try them on – good! We were in hysterics – she couldn't even pull them over her ankle! I refused to believe that these boots would not fit and made her put them on properly – they were 'too tight and too heavy'. We had a job to get that one boot off again! Back to the drawing board!!! Another little job for me: post wellies back to Muck Boots Company tomorrow! I have noticed they sell a very short, lace-up welly – I wonder of they will fit?!

Took mother home – now dark, so no birding! The cat sat on the stairs with a puzzled expression – it was promptly greeted with 'oh, poor pussy cat...' 'being left all this time...' 'how wicked...' – this conversation continued for some time. I felt completely exhausted and nearly fell asleep, but managed to return to my house in one piece! Watched some of Autumn Watch and then started to edit a few more pictures. Day 5 of the Shetland trip will added before I retire for the night.