Stressful Day!

There is other big stuff going on as well as Father's hospital admission, that I can't talk about on my blog at the moment – stuff that is stressing me out to the max. In fact I have been in a pretty downward spiral today. I have been exhausted all week and had broken sleep most nights. I woke up far too early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep, which resulted in me feeling rubbish for the rest of the day. I sat in my house this morning, just staring out of the window and watched blackbirds, a song thrush and great tit feeding in my garden – the day looked beautiful and it would have been a fabulous day for birding and photography. I phoned the hospital to hear that Father had been hoisted out to a recliner chair, so that was good news and that he had eaten half of his breakfast and lunch. Very sadly though he went down hill after lunch and when both my sisters arrived to visit him, he was in a confused state again, which understandably both of them found difficult to deal with, especially Lucy who had such a positive experience with him yesterday. I managed to have a snooze on the sofa late morning.

After cooking breakfast at 1pm I drove to Holme, hoping that Mother would come with me to visit Father, but she was tired and stressed out. She was especially cross (that's an understatement) with her neighbour who without her permission had removed all the ivy from the bottom of her hedge – all the way along, which meant you could see all the way through to next door's garden, it looks gappy at the bottom, means that anything could now get through the hedge, eg rabbits, dogs etc and the biggest issue Mother had was that several birds nest in the hedge during Spring time including a local Robin – in fact she was more than cross, she was furious and this has added to her stress. Very selfish indeed of that neighbour to carry this out without consulting her and especially at this very difficult time. The neighbour's garden is a typical town garden, large perfect lawn and perfect borders etc – you get the picture! This garden used to be beautiful and rambling with several apple trees that used to attract bullfinches etc – its ruined now as far as I'm concerned. Why do some people have to strip everything out that nature loves – everything has become so sterile. All of this made me angry too. I wanted to go and speak to the neighbour about this, but Mother was emphatic that I didn't. It's now going to cost Mother quite a bit of money, as she is now going to pay someone to put up wire netting all the way along, so nothing can get into her garden – the hedge with ivy was perfect as it was – perfect visually, perfect for nesting birds (that won't be now), perfect for insects etc. Again, its a situation of taking advantageous of someone older and being totally selfish.

Mother was too stressed to get in the car and said she was worn out. I got in trouble for trying to make her go, but I knew Father would appreciate seeing her, but then to be fair she is tired and worried and needs a rest from looking after Father – he hasn't been easy to look after the last few months. A party of Long-tailed Tits arrived in the garden and one of them perched on a stem only yards from the window where I was sitting in the dining room. I left Holme feeling fed-up, sad and angry all rolled into one. Stopped at Hunstanton by the lighthouse momentarily to watch the sun setting over the sea and Fulmars gliding over the cliff top. Went to Sainsburys to get food items for Father and then went to the hospital. Vivien had taken Lucy home as she had become upset at Father's state of mind and Vivien then returned to the hospital and sat in the car for a break whilst Father was having his tea. I walked up to the ward and Vivien then joined me. Father had only eaten a banana, but then I suppose that was better than nothing. He had calmed a little by the time I got there, but was still rambling about different things that didn't make any sense whatsoever. The Nurses did not have the results of the Chest X-ray that was taken yesterday and wouldn't know this until Monday – hospitals are supposed to be 24 hours, but this is not always the case! The physios would not now see Father until Monday. I'm really hoping that they can get him out of bed and attempt some stepping and walking with him next week. It would be fabulous to have him home as he was, but I am worried that the longer he is in bed, that his limbs will get even stiffer and his mobility will be decreased. Vivien and I left at 8pm and sat outside in the car, chatting for half an hour about what to do if Father's mobility was non-existent when he leaves hospital – we didn't come up with an answer.

Back at home, I sat with a cup of tea. Rang Sarah (who I worked with in the Stroke team) who lives a few doors away and she very kindly invited me round for a catch-up and some roulade that she had just made! It was really nice to see her and the roulade was fabulous. A nice end to my day.