High Tide At Holme

I felt so low, I didn't get out of bed until 2.30pm, well apart from feeding the cat at 7.45am. It has been dull all day which doesn't help your spirits. I forced myself to go and look at the high tide this evening and made the huge mistake of sitting where my father's ashes were and played 'The Lark Ascending' (played at his funeral) on my iphone – tears rolled down my cheeks and I imagined his smile and his voice – what I would give to see him again. Mother requested to be dug in with him, so they will be reunited soon. I found it difficult to walk this evening, like I was drunk – I can't take in, that my mother has died, neither can I deal with the fact that both parents are now dead.

Lots of hirundines swirling over the slope by the observatory and lined up on the fence wires, which was a nice sight to see. I walked up to Post 10 (that was) and then crossed over to the beach to walk back towards the NOA car park, but the tide was so high I couldn't! Lots of Sanderlings and Gulls feeding along the edge – it was a beautiful sight. Re-traced my steps and then walked through the pines and viewed the sea from near the NWT entrance and sat a while in the same spot that mother and I did last year. The midges started to attack me, so left and returned home to find that Vivien had returned this evening, so at least the house won't be deathly silent anymore. Busy day tomorrow with undertakers meeting us in the afternoon to discuss the funeral arrangements.